Fiends Episode2 Part2

Now the conclusion

Rachel's flat, Phoebe, Rachel & Monica present. Pheobe is at the window which is open.

Phoebe: Wow, ugly-naked-guy looks busy� What's he doing? Ooh ooh ooh he's waving�(she waves).Now he is holding up a sign. (she reads) "This� will� teach� you� to� throw� dog� shit� at� me" I wonder what he means by that?

(Monica + Rachel get down)

Monica: Take cover!

Phoebe: No, this is fun. Oh look he's pushed a catapult up to his window. He's filling it with a brown stuff. He's taking a knife and� Oh my GOD!

(Phoebe slams the window just in time. It gets covered in brown mess. At that moment the door burst open. Ross, Joey and Chandler enter. Ross is holding a crossbow, Joey a pneumatic drill with a wooden stake instead of a metal edge, and Chandler a shotgun & baseball bat combined to make a cross.)

Ross: Which one of you homicidal, blood-thirsty maniac's is a vampire?

Monica: How dare you? We are not vampires. Homicidal, sort of. Blood-thirsty, maybe. Maniacs, yes, but vampires, no. Anyway why do you want to know?

Joey: Because we don't like 'em.

Phoebe: Why not? Are you being undead-ist?

Chandler: What?

Phoebe: You know. Prejudiced against the dead and undead.

Chandler: We don't like 'em cause um� er� (silent pause. The boys huddle to form a suggestion.) Oh yeah right. We don't like 'em cause they killed Sex Machine. And he was cool.

Rachel: Oh, so they have been watching "From Dusk 'til Dawn". Ok, wasn't a human who killed Sex Machine?

Joey: Yeah well I blame the vampires and I am going to make sure that there are none left to do it to me.

Rachel: Joey, tell me everything you know about vampires.

Joey: Well they don't have any hair, they don't like crosses or mirrors, they do like to drink blood and er� they are undead.

Rachel: Are you sure about the hair?

Joey: No.

Rachel: Let's forget that then. Ok, do you have any mirrors or crosses in your flat?

Joey: Well, no, but�

Rachel: Right, so what is your favourite drink?

Joey: Beer

Rachel: But what do you drink on special occasions?

Joey: Er� Blood Moon?

Rachel: Right how do you make that?

Joey: Well you take some human blood, dog's blood and cat's blood and you add a human heart�stick it in a blender for 5 minutes and voil�. You can also add a bit of liver for some zest.

Rachel: So lets get this straight. You have hair, you don't have any mirrors or crosses, and you like to drink blood. I rest my case.

Joey: But what about being undead?

Rachel: Well, what is the opposite of being kind?

Joey: Being unkind?

Rachel: What is the opposite of being happy?

Joey: Being unhappy?

Rachel: Therefore what is the opposite of being dead?

Joey: Being undead.

Rachel: So are you dead?

Joey: No

Rachel: Then you must be undead. Are you a vampire?

Joey: No!

Rachel: How will you tell the difference between people like yourself and vampires?

Joey: Damn

(Suddenly, a stone shatters the window. Everybody runs over.)

Chandler: Oh it's ugly naked guy. I'll take care of this. (he cocks the shotgun and shoots)

Ross: You would not have thought that anyone could envelop a bullet. Still it gave him a shock. And now he's retreating. Yeah!

Musical interlude�

Central perk. All present.

Ross: So how's Nibbles?

Rachel: Nibble's? Oh no! I tied him up and started to chat with a man and we went for coffee. I must have left Nibbles behind! (she runs off)

Joey: How could she forget her dog? (they all run after her)

A park. Chaos. Everything has been trampled on. A broken lamp post is being pulled by a pitbull who is with another pitbull. Rachel approaches Nibbles who growls at her. She goes to pet him but he runs off with the other pitbull.

Chandler: Well would you look at that, he did leave you for another bitch.(he smirks)

End scene

Scene:Balcony. Rachel present with rifle. She shoots, a dog whimpers. Ross knock on the window and joins Rachel.

Ross: How are you?

Rachel: Feeling better.

Ross: (after looking over)Wow you are a good shot. That's 20 dogs, 4 cats, 3 mice and one human.

Rachel: Yeah there weren't enough dogs.

Ross: Ah,um�well�I was looking in the cutlery draw and I couldn't help noticing that the hand grenade had kind of gone missing.

Rachel: Oh, yeah, well I popped down to the pound with Joey. He went in found the generator and when he came out the grenade went in.

Ross: Wow.

Rachel: Well I thought I would help out with the cities stray problem.

Ross: Oh good cause. So what you doing Saturday?

Rachel: Killing more dogs

Ross: Hae you thought of getting a stress ball?

Rachel: It popped

Ross: A punch bag?

Rachel: He broke.

Ross: He?

Rachel: Don't know his name. I was trying out an idea of mine which includes a fishing rod, and a noose in fishing wire�Hey, look Nibbles came home (she cocks the rifle)

As the logos come up lots of shots are heard.